Often times, people assume that once you become an adult the learning stage is finished. I couldn't disagree more! You may not be able to teach old dogs new tricks, but it doesn't mean that an adults can't learn new things and that includes MOMS! I know it isn't easy to learn something new while being a mom, but I also know that it very possible with the right steps in place to make it happen.
Many women find that once they are a wife and mother, making the decision to stay home and be a home keeper means that their own interest aren't important and that the right time will come along, when their children are older to pick up their interest then.
From my own experience, I would caution women to ‘find your identify‘ of who you were created to be, in addition to a wife and mother.
In my adult life, I have found joy and satisfaction learning how to paint (somewhat), learning how to make wedding cakes, learning how to decorate my home, learning how to be frugal, learning photography, learning to play the piano, learning a business and even making food from scratch.
Right now, I'm learning how to golf and my oldest son is my in structure. In fact, he is teaching our whole family how to golf.
I love using my God given skills and gifts to learn a something new, while letting it improve how I manage my home and care for my family.
I would encourage you to take a moment and consider what you are interested in learning and then finding a way to make it happen. Being resourceful is a great skill to have and don't forget the truth in ‘where there is a will, there is a way'.
You may be surprised that just focusing on learning something new will bring you joy and help you balance a difficult season in your life. It often times has been the very thing that has carried me through the challenges of being on call 24/7 and especially when I felt like my own identity was lost.
How to Learn Something New
Focus on one thing at a time – Learning more than one thing at a time can bring more stress than you may want to deal with, where a focus attention will give you results that can be measured and appreciated.
Enforce quiet time while you learn – Usually a 30-60 minute time, maybe nap time is the right time for your family.
Get your family involved – Share with them how you are making progress and see if there is something that they want to learn independently, while you work on your new thing. Maybe some of them would be interested in learning beside you.
When you have gotten enjoyment from your new thing and have learned a great deal, add another thing to learn. Just don't stop learning and living the uniqueness that YOU were created to be.
When you consider raising a family, cleaning the house, cooking, homeschooling, laundry and all that involves homemaking, it is easy to see how homemaking is overwhelming to so many women. Some do it amazingly, so it seems, and others struggle with the completing the majority. Yet, we all need to be empowered for the task in front of us.
When Homemaking Is Overwhelming
A clean house is important to me. There have been so many times in my life as a homemaker that I could easily balance everything that was on my plate, still having a clean house and meals on the table every evening.
This season is different for me. I'm overwhelmed!
Currently, I only have one children doing formal homeschooling, which means that my life should be easiest that it has ever been, but that isn't the case.
I work from home, so you would think that I would be able to stay on top of everything, including my work, because I can start things while working. That isn't true!
My children help so much with chores, so you would think that my own list should be manageable. So, why can't I finish my list each week?
I promised that I was going to be real during this series…
Two weeks ago, I texted my husband and asked him to skip out on the men's meeting at church that evening and take me out… alone. He texted back quickly… “Absolutely!” About an hour later, he calls me, knowing that something is going on since this is a priority in our home for my husband to get to these meetings, as the spiritual head of our home.
I began to cry with the feeling of being so overwhelmed!
He came home and hugged me for a while and then we went to a restaurant together. He asked me one question… “Why are you so overwhelmed?”
Little did we both know how that one question would unlock the emotions that I had been pushing aside. I sat and cried in our favorite restaurant, as I just poured out everything… yes, EVERYTHING, that overwhelmed me.
I skipped from the one thing to the next. I just needed to get it all out of me and have my husband tell me how to fix it… fast!
Yes, I'm overwhelmed and I need solutions.
Admit When You Are Overwhelmed
It is never healthy or an easy fix to hold your overwhelming feelings inside and try to fix them on your own. My personality is a strong one and I tend to help others before I think about helping myself. This is why when I had my husband's full attention that I became as a babbling fool and let it all out at once… in public.
Had I just communicated better prior to having an emotional deluge, I know that solutions could have been implemented easily for the areas that were presenting themselves. Waiting until you are about to burst will only make it feel like a boat with all kinds of holes in it, with water filling the boat and a crazy attempt to fill the holes that out number the plugs available to you.
Identify Where You Are Overwhelmed
Knowing the root to what is overwhelming you can help you identify a solution faster.
For me, it is house work, meals and business related, coupled with a five year old that needs a lot of discipling at this stage of his life and of course, a pre-teen.
Our systems needed to be worked on to help me fix some of the easier things, but working to find solutions together as a couple will help with the items that need more of routines to present themselves with our dynamics of our home.
Work to Eliminate What Overwhelms You
Life is full of things that overwhelm us, but not all things are needed in our lives.
There has been times that I have had to let go of businesses, curriculum, routines, relationships that overwhelmed me in order to find the joy that I strive to possess in my every day. It is really hard to eliminate things that are important to you, but if they do not produce joy in your life, the overwhelming feelings are NOT worth the struggle.
Family is my priority on a daily basis and recently I was inspired that my daily routines didn't mirror my heart, so I have had to change them to reflect what I desired people to see. This meant that my weekends and evenings were etched out for family time, with just rare exceptions for work or weekly church services that fit our family's purpose.
With this change of routine, my blogging to-do list grows and with it the overwhelming sense that I can't get it all done. I needed to let some of the projects and items on my short list to my long list of to-dos. This has been a very difficult decision but it fits my priorities and with each passing week, this overwhelming feel has lessened and I'm gaining focus where it is needed. My husband is very aware of this now and has been asking me often what I need from him. Maybe because he never wants to relive the public flood I put him through, but I know his love for me and my health is his motivation.
My younger boys had the largest room in our home and it was the biggest source of my homemaking stress. They couldn't keep it clean, even with my best parenting attempts, chore list and hacks. I knew what needed to be done and I made the family announcement… “We are moving the younger boys!” This was met with a lot of different reactions. My oldest son was thrilled because this met he was going to be the new owner of the best real estate under our roof. Our younger sons were devastated that they lost their beloved room and had to eliminate some of their possessions to move into a much smaller room… together.
This change was the best homemaking change I did since turning our formal dinning room into a functioning school room.
My younger boys are keeping their room cleaned. They are enjoying the smaller room to their surprise and the larger closet that it provided. They are playing better and sleeping better.
Being overweight has overwhelmed me for all of my adult years. The last 50 pounds was a result of lack of sleep and stress, during our youngest first four months of birth. I had gotten down to only 2 more pounds to lose before getting to pre-pregnancy weight and in just about 2 month had put on 50 pounds. I was exhausted, stressed and healthy eating wasn't on our menu because survival mode was all I could think about.
I decided that my health was a priority and I needed to do something about it to remove this overwhelming feeling that it has been causing me. I started a #100daysoffitness challenge to myself and told myself ‘no excuses', ‘no giving up' and ‘no giving in'. I'm doing amazing! I have not allowed fevers, sleepless nights, head colds or hurting muscles to stop me from getting the minimum of 30 minutes of exercise daily and I'm already more than 1/3 of the way finished with this first challenge.
Seek for Solutions that Will Work for You
What I love most about the internet is that solutions to everyday problems are all over the place. You just have to go looking for them. Organizing, decorating, homemaking, saving money, losing weight or what to wear is just a search away. There are all kinds of new books being written from women just like me, finding solutions to common problems and putting it together for the next woman to be empowered from their leg work, experience and solutions.
We all live such busy lives and many times only slow down to think about our blessings when Thanksgiving rolls around. I would like to encourage you to live a thankful life all year round and these 7 ways may help you, as they do me, remember how we can emulate a thankful heart every day of our life.
Here are 7 Ways to live a thankful life:
Speak Positively – Our words are the voice of our heart. Speaking positively can demonstrate quickly the thankfulness that we have in our life on a daily basis.
Smile Often – A smile is an universal language. People can easily see how you live your life by how often you smile.
Be Quick to Say Thank You – Two words can be so hard to say, yet full of wonderful reactions. Gratitude to others is not something that people do easily, but is a great way to live a thankful life and demonstrate it daily.
Write Thank You Cards Often – Writing or sending an electronic thank you card is something that only takes a few minutes out of your day and really shares with the recipient that you are thankful for the part they have played in your life.
Be an Encouragement to Others – When you see that someone in your life is struggling, be a positive encouragement in their life is a useful way to live a thankful life for others, in a time when they need to lifted up and appreciated.
Be Open About How Others Impact Your Life – When someone has taken a moment to lift you up, impact or improve your life, take a moment and share just how much they mean to you. So much is left unsaid when it is a positive thought and putting a voice to those thoughts can really demonstrate how to live a thankful life to others.
Believe that Everything will Turn Out for Good – Most thankful people have an air about them that many things do not seem to get them down, because they truly believe that everything will turn out for good. We are never promised to have a life without struggles, but we are promised that He will never forsake us. Being thankful in all things isn't always easy, but it can be learned over time.