*I have affiliates of good things in this post.
Twenty years ago, on Mother's Day, I miscarried my first baby. Unless you have lost a child through miscarriage, you may not understand the hurting pain that can be in your life for so long.
God blessed us with a daughter just days before that first anniversary of our first of five miscarriages. That was a healing for the everyday pain and fear that I was experiencing, but Mother's Day always had pain associated with it for many years. Even now, twenty years later, I can honestly say that as May rolls around my heart is reminded of that day, that pain… that loss.
I know that I'm not the only one that has hurting from loss when celebrating special days, like Mother's Day and that we all heal differently and in different times.
Here are ways that if you are hurting from loss, you can celebrate special days:
- Embrace the hurting as healing – Hurting is an emotion from God and should never be looked down on or ignored. It is natural and a part of our lives that will usher in healing if given the time to mourn the loss of a love one.
- Share your hurt with someone who loves you – Just talking about the hurt, your pain and where you are can bring healing to you, regardless if they have anything to say. Just having a loving ear to cry to can be enough.
- Think on the positive – In my case, of a miscarriage, I didn't have good memories to moving me forward to healing. I did have constant reminders around me that babies are a part of a family, which could be a source of pain, if we dwell and compare what others have. When I turned my focus off from what others had that I didn't, I was able to be positive about the hope of having another child.
- Cherish the memory of the loved one that was loss – Keeping the memory of them alive and sharing your memories with other loved ones, is a great way to allow healing to become apparent in your life. My mom lost both of her parents in just a few years, as well as several siblings. The loss my own Mom and Dad have experienced and I have witnessed, as they have continued to work through the pain, always seems easier when they have the ability to talk about their memories or we share ours with them.
- Take a moment for yourself on those special days – For me, as Mother's Day gets closer and I have the four blessings that God has entrusted to me to raise for Him, I often stop and smile to know that one day those that I have lost will be in my presence again, as we spend eternity together with Him. Just having those positive moments, as the day approaches, gives me a fresh perspective of the good around me and that there are so many things to celebrate with those who are still in my life.