I will never forget the time in my life, after 10 years of marriage and having 3 children (at that time), when I just seemed to have ‘lost the joy’ in my roles of being a wife and mother. What I experienced then and my journey through it, has me wanting to encourage all wives and mothers in a journey to ‘finding your identity’.

Finding Your Identity...Other than Wife and Mother

As a wife and mother, I give so much of myself in my calling to the things of the house, the homeschooling of our children and being the best help meet that my husband deserves. I was happy in this role in my life, until something inside me seemed to have just ‘lost the joy’. I would search scripture looking for things to return my joy (which I learned a lot on and will write a post for it next month), but it wasn’t until I started my journey’s call to ‘finding your identity’.

The Journey to Finding Your Identity

Once you realize that you can only describe yourself as your roles as wife and mother, you will need to realize that ‘finding your identity’ is not only important to you, but also for your family that you give so much of yourself for. You need to realize that your calling in your life, being a wife and mother, is not what describes you, they are simply just roles.  You need to understand that your identity fuels your passion in life and within the calling in your life.

You need to start by asking yourself some questions:

  • What do I enjoy doing with my free time?
  • Do I have a talent that I let go because of my calls as wife and mother?
  • What would I like to learn about?
  • What interest do I have that I can learn about in books?
  • What activities do I enjoy that I can introduce my family to?

Finding Your Identity and Sharing it With Others

This is the part of the journey that I found to be most exciting! It seemed natural for me to start learning about things that interested me and in doing so, I was sharing these with my family and my friends. I started to do things that I let go, like crafts and hobbies.  I started crocheting again and with that came giving gifts to my family members. I also started taking pictures and turning them into gifts.  I realized that I enjoyed drama and we started taking family field trips to theaters. I started baking with whole grains because nutrition became interesting to me. In learning how to make recipes with whole grains, I was able to bless my family, friends and share it with those who came across my path.

It literally was such a joy for me to start the journey of finding your identity that I have realized the importance that in doing this, you then become a tool in others lives without really any work. In feeding the uniqueness that God has created in me, I’m equipped to be a mentor to someone else.

Most importantly, my joy in serving my family became the fire that keeps me going to learn more about myself, so I can be more to others.

What do you like to do, learn or desire to learn?